Tsuyoku naru.

13th. July, 2014

Here I am once again. Genki da ne? :D

Currently tengah cuti sakan for about 2 months after completing my 2 years of pre-clinical. Alhamdulillah. I passed my First Professional Exams.
It's the mid of Ramadhan now by the way :)
Nanka, chotto shizuka desu.
...and kemalasan yang melampau lampau too. tak tau la ni ada kene mengene dengan sesi meng-qada'-kan segala tidur yang tak cukup time kat kolej dulu hikhik.

Put that aside, today's just one of the days where I would randomly let my tears down. Not really for a personal reason, it's due to the ending of a game and an anime. haha.
Oh not to mention, I lost count on how many times I cried watching Fairy Tail for the last two and a half weeks. *sobs* almost every episode, shikusho.
I wonder if I'm being a little extra sensitive or they are just tears-stimulating stories T-T
Jann wa nakitai.

Kedo ne, most of the things I did for these past few weeks, animes or games, the common message I could grasp is :

"It's good enough to be able to live, dakara, live on and don't give up on life no matter how hard it could be. Giving up on life or suicide is never an option."

As a Muslim too, I believe that being able to just breathe, we should be very much grateful to Allah.
In fact, I do once in a while feel like everything's not going according to my plan.
Often I break down in tears in the middle of the night, pillows absorbing the flowing tears, almost feel like I have nothing else to pull me back up again.
That's when the message above gave me just the reason to carve a smile back on my face.

"Ikitai yo kimi no tokoro he chiisana te wo nigirishimete

Nakitai yo sore wa sore wa kirei na sora datta

Negai wo nagareboshi ni sotto tonaete mitakeredo

Nakitai yo todoka nai omoi wo kono sora ni~"

[I want to go to where you are, clenching my small hands

I want to cry, it was such a beautiful sky

I tried silently wishing on a shooting star

But I won't cry, the wish will go through, into the beautiful sky~]

- Planetarium by Otsuka Ai -

It's okay to cry though. Crying eases your pain. But never give up. Get back up again, insyaALLAH.

Ganbare minna ! Jann mo ganbarimasu !

I wasn't meant to be a good friend, am I?

well it's a been a while. yeah, tak plan pon nak update every single time kan.
rasa rasa macam nak luah, slalu luah kat Twitter.
tapi kalau nak bebel bebel panjang panjang, or secluded sikit, baru datang sini.
bebel puas puas, luah habis habisan, tapi tak ramai tau.
nasib ah siapa yang bace :3

malam ni pon bende emo gak. kehkeh. tak habis habis emo minah ni. tak pernah plak lak die nak share bende bende gumbira walhal sharing good news is better than bad.

okay. current mood story begins ;
I thought I was not meant to have any one close friend.
haha. sedih kan bunyik? But I thought that it is true.
My concern sekarang; siapa aku nak kawen kalau takde orang yang boleh tahan perangai aku?
hahahahahaha yeee itu yang aku risau.

no, honestly, memang sedih when these kind of things happen. when you thought you were doing great with this one friend, you realize you have to watch them leave you. either with or against your will.
pretty sad you know. i feel like crying. but no, I can't. sekarang dah nekad nak fikir positif. kalau nak sedih pon, sedih sendiri kejap2 then move on.

why?
everything happens for a reason.
either it's a warning atau ujian.
train the cardia to be tougher now.
i'm so fragile. i'm a crybaby. bende kecik camni mmg boleh buat aku melalak.
now, I have to be strong.
nak buat camne kan? nanti da keje besok lagi laaa sakit.
kne peer pressure and segala apatah pressure haha.

Mohon kekuatan dari Yang Maha Esa.

Just dropping by

Oh come on. I have to admit, forgetting and ignoring seems so hard.

"Haha, thereeeee she goes again all emotional in her blog yadayada~"
Well, sorry lah aku ni emosi melebih lebih. Nama pon pompuan, wattudu wattudu.

Hmm, tetibe malas plak nak blogging. I can't sleep atm so I thought I might wanna visit here and leave a thought. and on second thought, naaaaah~ malas plak nak citer.

Oh btw, I'm addicted to this song thanks to my roommate~
Demi Lovato - Every Time You Lie

teehee~

Okay no more emotional post tonight.
Lain kali la ye. Do look forward for it mwahaha~

"I knew better than to let you break my heart

This soul you'll never see again, won't be showing scars

You still love her I can see it in your eyes

The truth is all that I can hear

Every time you lie

....

So don't say sorry cause I'm not gonna listen~"