Especially hoping from another human being.
In the end, it's hurt what you will get.
If you want to hope,
Put hope from the Almighty.
He will give you what you need most.
There's no such thing as broken-hearted when you hope from Him
InsyaALLAH :)
Monday 28 October 2013
Hope
It's better to stop hoping for something from someone to happen.
Especially hoping from another human being.
In the end, it's hurt what you will get.
If you want to hope,
Put hope from the Almighty.
He will give you what you need most.
There's no such thing as broken-hearted when you hope from Him
InsyaALLAH :)
Especially hoping from another human being.
In the end, it's hurt what you will get.
If you want to hope,
Put hope from the Almighty.
He will give you what you need most.
There's no such thing as broken-hearted when you hope from Him
InsyaALLAH :)
Friday 18 October 2013
The Unexpected Outcome
Well, the truth is finally out.
I managed to know the real thing.
To be honest, I wasn't that sad cause I can almost guess.
The reason I've confessed is not because I want to have the same in return.
It's because I knew the outcome, so I just want to let you know.
I'm not putting hopes at all.
But, the question is, why are you running away?
We were friends before, can't we stay that way?
If you were scared that I'd be heart broken and that I'll fall for you again,
Then no. I know my limit. I'm not stupid enough to keep holding on.
Or maybe the fact I confessed actually burdened you and that you can't even take a glance of my face, is that it?
If that's the case, I'm sorry.
You said that we could talk as usual again.
But it seems you're the one who's running away.
Making things even more awkward.
If you say you were not, I can see you're lying.
If you really were burdened with what I did, then fine.
I won't try to approach you no more.
Even as a friend.
What really hurts is that the fact you were running away from me.
I don't intend to chase you honestly.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not that desperate.
No, I'm not.
I'm cool with just being friends.
Rather than strangers, I'd prefer we could be silly together as friends
If only I knew you're gonna do this to me, I'd rather keep it to myself.
I thought you were smart enough to handle such thing.
I was wrong.
"Go ahead and run. I don't intend to chase you anyway...."
I managed to know the real thing.
To be honest, I wasn't that sad cause I can almost guess.
The reason I've confessed is not because I want to have the same in return.
It's because I knew the outcome, so I just want to let you know.
I'm not putting hopes at all.
But, the question is, why are you running away?
We were friends before, can't we stay that way?
If you were scared that I'd be heart broken and that I'll fall for you again,
Then no. I know my limit. I'm not stupid enough to keep holding on.
Or maybe the fact I confessed actually burdened you and that you can't even take a glance of my face, is that it?
If that's the case, I'm sorry.
You said that we could talk as usual again.
But it seems you're the one who's running away.
Making things even more awkward.
If you say you were not, I can see you're lying.
If you really were burdened with what I did, then fine.
I won't try to approach you no more.
Even as a friend.
What really hurts is that the fact you were running away from me.
I don't intend to chase you honestly.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not that desperate.
No, I'm not.
I'm cool with just being friends.
Rather than strangers, I'd prefer we could be silly together as friends
If only I knew you're gonna do this to me, I'd rather keep it to myself.
I thought you were smart enough to handle such thing.
I was wrong.
"Go ahead and run. I don't intend to chase you anyway...."
Sunday 13 October 2013
40 Questionnaires that somehow might make you know me a bit better?
Answer these questions as honest as you can, no force.
1) Have you ever been asked out?
Yes, I guess.
2) Where was your default picture taken?
In my room, on my bed
3) What's your middle name?
*counts name and finds the midpoint* Binti! :D
4) Your current relationship status?
Single. Looking for a future zauj, not temporary partner.
5) What is your current mood?
Intermediate happy.
6) What color shirt are you wearing ?
Purple
7) Missing something ?
Yes
8) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Well, this is IF, which is impossible. IF, maybe I would change how I behave. Attitude, to be precise
9) If you must be an animal for one day, what?
Animal? Hmm. I wanna be a dwagooownn :3 k jk. it doesn't even exist. Never thought of it actually. A kitty maybe?
10) Ever had a near death experience ?
So far no. Nauzubillah ='(
11) Something you do a lot?
Babbling at Twitter. Tweeting nonsense that I believe many are pissed off with it.
12) The song stuck in your head ?
Heart Attack by Demi Lovato atm.
13) Who did you copy and paste this from?
Kak Farhawa hehe~
14) Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Nur Fatin Qistinaaa ! :D My twin that I met in Perfect World!
15) When was the last time you cried?
Last two nights. When I was about to sleep.
16) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? .
Does choir included? :D
17) If you could have one super power what would it be?
To change people's sadness into happiness. To change grief into joy, To turn sorrow into jolly.
18) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His smile.
19) Who was the last person that made you happy?
My family. They always do.
21) What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Usually Green Tea Frappe. But now I don't do Starbucks for some reason.
22) What's your biggest secret?
If I say it here, it's not a secret anymore now is it?
23) Favorite color?
Purple
24) Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Both haha. I am twennyy but that ain't stopping meh from them kiddie showss nope .
25) What's on your walls?
Umm, nothing?
26) What are you?
I am the Princess of Mars, jk. I am Jann. I am one heck of an emotional damsel who knows that she couldn't be perfect but hoping the people around her would stay.
27) Do you speak any other language?
uhh not really. Malay and english only. a bit of bad japanese tho :D
28) What's your favorite smell?
Vanilla :)
29) Describe your life in one word ?
Unpredictable
30) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Now who would do that actually. haha.
31) What are you thinking about right now?
"Why are we like this?"
33) What should you be doing?
Playing Outlast game HAHA.
34) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
....can't remember.
35) Do you ever trapped in a love triangle?
I'm not that sure :|
36) Your talent that you're really want to show off?
Err idk. I'm quite okay with my drawings but still need a loooot of improvement to really show off you knoww
37) If you had a chance to erase some of your memories, what are you really want to forget?
Nothing. My past is what guides me to what I am now. :)
38) Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yeah kinda. I tend to be more feminine hahaha. oops.
39) What is your natural hair color?
Silky Black :P okay jk just plain black.
40) Who was the last person to make you cry ?
That guy. but it's not his fault. it's just something that I thought about him that made me cry.
1) Have you ever been asked out?
Yes, I guess.
2) Where was your default picture taken?
In my room, on my bed
3) What's your middle name?
*counts name and finds the midpoint* Binti! :D
4) Your current relationship status?
Single. Looking for a future zauj, not temporary partner.
5) What is your current mood?
Intermediate happy.
6) What color shirt are you wearing ?
Purple
7) Missing something ?
Yes
8) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Well, this is IF, which is impossible. IF, maybe I would change how I behave. Attitude, to be precise
9) If you must be an animal for one day, what?
Animal? Hmm. I wanna be a dwagooownn :3 k jk. it doesn't even exist. Never thought of it actually. A kitty maybe?
10) Ever had a near death experience ?
So far no. Nauzubillah ='(
11) Something you do a lot?
Babbling at Twitter. Tweeting nonsense that I believe many are pissed off with it.
12) The song stuck in your head ?
Heart Attack by Demi Lovato atm.
13) Who did you copy and paste this from?
Kak Farhawa hehe~
14) Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Nur Fatin Qistinaaa ! :D My twin that I met in Perfect World!
15) When was the last time you cried?
Last two nights. When I was about to sleep.
16) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? .
Does choir included? :D
17) If you could have one super power what would it be?
To change people's sadness into happiness. To change grief into joy, To turn sorrow into jolly.
18) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His smile.
19) Who was the last person that made you happy?
My family. They always do.
21) What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Usually Green Tea Frappe. But now I don't do Starbucks for some reason.
22) What's your biggest secret?
If I say it here, it's not a secret anymore now is it?
23) Favorite color?
Purple
24) Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Both haha. I am twennyy but that ain't stopping meh from them kiddie showss nope .
25) What's on your walls?
Umm, nothing?
26) What are you?
I am the Princess of Mars, jk. I am Jann. I am one heck of an emotional damsel who knows that she couldn't be perfect but hoping the people around her would stay.
27) Do you speak any other language?
uhh not really. Malay and english only. a bit of bad japanese tho :D
28) What's your favorite smell?
Vanilla :)
29) Describe your life in one word ?
Unpredictable
30) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Now who would do that actually. haha.
31) What are you thinking about right now?
"Why are we like this?"
33) What should you be doing?
Playing Outlast game HAHA.
34) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
....can't remember.
35) Do you ever trapped in a love triangle?
I'm not that sure :|
36) Your talent that you're really want to show off?
Err idk. I'm quite okay with my drawings but still need a loooot of improvement to really show off you knoww
37) If you had a chance to erase some of your memories, what are you really want to forget?
Nothing. My past is what guides me to what I am now. :)
38) Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yeah kinda. I tend to be more feminine hahaha. oops.
39) What is your natural hair color?
Silky Black :P okay jk just plain black.
40) Who was the last person to make you cry ?
That guy. but it's not his fault. it's just something that I thought about him that made me cry.
Tuesday 8 October 2013
I just want to express this sadness in writing, don't mind me.
Well, lately it's been not so good. For the past few days actually. Reasons? Hmm, bagi orang lain remeh temeh la kot.
Hati rasa cam tak tenang ditambah dengan stress 1st week GIT yang sangat2 ikan sardin packednya. Plus the feeling of doubt. Furious sket. Risau. All in one go baby, all in one go. I don't know how to survive all these with a smile.
Dengan Abang operate mata due to retinal detachment dy, but Alhamdulillah, Allah ease everything :) hilang jugak la satu kerisauan.
Dengan nak mengelak dari terserempak dengan sorang ni, tapi just hoping die sehat walafiat. Reason mengelak? hmm, xtau kenapa. Rasa nak lari haha. Rase bersalah ada, rasa sedih ada. Jangan pikir bukan bukan, aku xde boypreng. Boypreng aku tuu yg kene operate tu =.=
Then tadi, dok scroll whatsapp, nampak gambar Acik A and Uncle J. Sedih memang sedih. Marah memang marah. Tapi tengok gambar depa kat whatsapp tu, rasa nak menangis je. I want my family back. I want those good memories to be revived. Rindu masa dulu2 , time raya, siap xnk dok kete sendiri, nak pegi beraya dengan dyorg since destination sama. Rindu nak gelak gelak dengan sume aunty dgn uncle.
Dah jadi waterfall da ni...
I want my family back.
I want the real smiles and laughter back.
I want to celebrate Eid with joy like the old days.
I want to have family gathering like we used to.
It seems so hard dengan keadaan camni nak ubah balik to what we used to.
Apart from marah, lagi sedih sebenarnya sebab tak dapat jadi cam dulu.
Seeing others celebrate macam2 dgn big family dyorg always made me shed my tears.
Tapi, I know, what they did was wrong.
And what we're going through ada hikmah dari-Nya.
But I just can't seem to be calm with it.
When I'm stressed about something, all of it seemed to come the whole package.
And end up, I'm crying again. No differ from a real crybaby. Cause I really am one.
Sunday 6 October 2013
Saturday 5 October 2013
Things that I can't seem to express orally
"About months ago you were just a random guy.
I realized your existence but you never caught my attention.
You have the looks, but I wasn't looking.
When your picture was taken along with your friends, I'd recognize your friends first.
I think I had talked to you before, but it was merely something to talk about.
Couples of hi's and bye's, smiles meeting smiles.
Barely had any real conversations.
I never knew when I started to fall.
It developed as I grew to know you more.
I heard about you once and that ticks my heart.
Then suddenly as if fate planned a chance for us to talk.
We talked and talked without facing each other,
and when it comes to meeting, it was kinda awkward.
I still can't figure out why I'd fallen.
Now, it worsens.
The feelings I had started to grow more.
Whenever I see your picture, I went tachycardiac.
Whenever I heard your name, I tend to be extra alert.
Whenever I heard that tone coming, I was utterly overexcited and would smile alone.
Some might know the reason why, some may not.
Sometimes these tears starts to fall when it's been so long I haven't heard from you.
Long, in my own definition.
I thought I'd get this over with already since that one incident.
Now I seemed to be falling again.
Mysterious person, I seem to fall under your spell.
You might be the reason I'm happy or melancholy.
Who are you now and who are you in the future,
that is the question I'm seeking the answer to.
Hoping you are the one destined for me.
I kept praying that if this doesn't stop, you would be the one.
As I vowed not to let myself hurt anymore.
For now, all I can do is to pray.
Pray for your and my success in achieving what we wanted.
We're both are in the same line but sometimes I feel that we're different.
In the end, I'd pray to Him
Let it flow due time.
And see what happens.
But in the meantime, I can't avoid from this feeling.
So much I tried to ignore, it kept coming back.
All I can do in the end is wait and pray.
For He knows what we do not know of.
and He is the best planner of all plans planned.
Subhanallah."
Saturday,
October 5th, 2013
03:46 am
I realized your existence but you never caught my attention.
You have the looks, but I wasn't looking.
When your picture was taken along with your friends, I'd recognize your friends first.
I think I had talked to you before, but it was merely something to talk about.
Couples of hi's and bye's, smiles meeting smiles.
Barely had any real conversations.
I never knew when I started to fall.
It developed as I grew to know you more.
I heard about you once and that ticks my heart.
Then suddenly as if fate planned a chance for us to talk.
We talked and talked without facing each other,
and when it comes to meeting, it was kinda awkward.
I still can't figure out why I'd fallen.
Now, it worsens.
The feelings I had started to grow more.
Whenever I see your picture, I went tachycardiac.
Whenever I heard your name, I tend to be extra alert.
Whenever I heard that tone coming, I was utterly overexcited and would smile alone.
Some might know the reason why, some may not.
Sometimes these tears starts to fall when it's been so long I haven't heard from you.
Long, in my own definition.
I thought I'd get this over with already since that one incident.
Now I seemed to be falling again.
Mysterious person, I seem to fall under your spell.
You might be the reason I'm happy or melancholy.
Who are you now and who are you in the future,
that is the question I'm seeking the answer to.
Hoping you are the one destined for me.
I kept praying that if this doesn't stop, you would be the one.
As I vowed not to let myself hurt anymore.
For now, all I can do is to pray.
Pray for your and my success in achieving what we wanted.
We're both are in the same line but sometimes I feel that we're different.
In the end, I'd pray to Him
Let it flow due time.
And see what happens.
But in the meantime, I can't avoid from this feeling.
So much I tried to ignore, it kept coming back.
All I can do in the end is wait and pray.
For He knows what we do not know of.
and He is the best planner of all plans planned.
Subhanallah."
Saturday,
October 5th, 2013
03:46 am
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